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I

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I highly recommend buying a manual coffee grinder. Not because it improves your coffee, but because it provides the opportunity to say ‘Where’s me crank?’ in a variety of silly voices.

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T

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Thought I was doing quite well today on limited sleep but I’ve just spent fifteen minutes trying to remember the word ‘contingency’.

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W

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When asked to retract, he doubled down, insisting that ‘He does, he likes to put them in his mouth, doesn’t he’. A judge will not look kindly on this.

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M

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My son has started spreading the defamatory claim that Daddy likes to eat the stringy bits off bananas. I am exploring legal options.

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I

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If they weren’t going to hold Prime Day on 2021-01-01 then they shouldn’t have bothered holding it at all.

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N

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Not sure why the lateral flow test kits come with a complimentary plastic fish of soy sauce but it’s disgusting

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V

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Very pleased to have been longlisted for the Alpine Fellowship Writing Prize 2021 alpinefellowship.com/writing-prize

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