Searching for and blocking everyone who posts ‘Happy 2020’ at 20 past
Just discovered I’ve booked the 2nd and 3rd off work. Thanks, past Mark!
My fitness tracker has just congratulated me on setting a two-week personal best for number of steps taken. It does not understand Christmas.
Brexit was inevitable. We just don’t share Europe’s passion for ham.
Gave blood successfully! Then immediately fainted when I started reading the email about fainting.
If my campaign of posting a turd in a Jiffy bag to every constituency office is pissing off all sides, I must be doing something right.
Labour folk on all sides are so busy rushing to defend their preexisting positions that they can’t see the obvious truth: we would have won if we had promised to nationalise sausages.
So when a Conservative PM whose main political interest is self-promotion wins a majority reliant on working-class voters in northern towns by making an undeliverable promise to make Brexit go away, what the hell happens next? Because I have no clue.
So does Johnson actually have any kind of ideological project he’ll use this win to implement, or can we expect five years of government driven solely by his immense vanity?
Might go and hide in the fridge.