28 Dec 09:53

My fitness tracker has just congratulated me on setting a two-week personal best for number of steps taken. It does not understand Christmas.

19 Dec 17:00

Gave blood successfully! Then immediately fainted when I started reading the email about fainting.

16 Dec 14:44

If my campaign of posting a turd in a Jiffy bag to every constituency office is pissing off all sides, I must be doing something right.

14 Dec 11:23

Labour folk on all sides are so busy rushing to defend their preexisting positions that they can’t see the obvious truth: we would have won if we had promised to nationalise sausages.

13 Dec 10:59

So when a Conservative PM whose main political interest is self-promotion wins a majority reliant on working-class voters in northern towns by making an undeliverable promise to make Brexit go away, what the hell happens next? Because I have no clue.

13 Dec 07:44

So does Johnson actually have any kind of ideological project he’ll use this win to implement, or can we expect five years of government driven solely by his immense vanity?